42 year-old Lara Croft is ‘top pals’ with Simon Cowell; Now we abandon her for good

Because while there’s a certain kind of brilliance in Lara Croft being a “recently unemployed, middle-aged aristocratic accumulator of antiquities,” we’d much rather she be found rotten in an age-old crypt with pistols in hand before she starts adding Russel Crowe on Facebook, only to be greeted with rejection.

What guily pleasure this is.